So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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