Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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