That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
We had sex on a dog bed..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You've changed since you got that strap on
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
