I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
