You're my little dorito
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
