Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
