Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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