Me too!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
