glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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