Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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