It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
