i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
