the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
