why didn't you poke me back
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
