Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize