are you so shy because you have an std?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
What drink are we having for lunch?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize