I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
