He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
