none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
