he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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