I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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