Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
