Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
