but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
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