You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
