So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
