drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
