i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
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