just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My balls are so social today.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
