no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
