Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
