I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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