he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
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