Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
