if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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