I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
