You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
