dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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