if you like me you must not know who I am
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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