My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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