I just saw a hot homeless man
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
