Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
