If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
No subtext here. People are naked.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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