i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
