Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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