Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
there's paper in my vomit.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
