this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
