The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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