i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
