i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
