This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
