..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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