I must be too annoying 4 u.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
